Therapist and Resentments Joke

Therapist and Resentments Joke

Who's Driving Joke

Who's Driving Joke

3 Piece Suit Joke

3 Piece Suit Joke

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'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker


Honk
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:  

Dear Grand-daughter,
     
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker.
     
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..
     
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
     
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
     
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I’d never have noticed.
     
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
     
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'

'Go!  Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
     
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
     
Everyone started honking!
     
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
     
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
       
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
     
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
     
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
     
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
     
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
     
My grandson burst out laughing.
     
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
     
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
     
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
     
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
     
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.  Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
     
Will write again soon,
     
Love, Grandma

Forwarded by Shellie M.



Murphy the Furniture Man


Laugh Out Loud Text
Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the only other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair inviting her to sit down.
He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin,and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

Forwarded by Mark M.

The Resurrection


A pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough from their laughter for the worship service to be continued.

Sent by Jim K.

Poker Dog

A tourist goes into a bar where a dog is sitting in a chair playing poker. He asks, "Is that dog there really playing poker?" And the bartender says, "Yeah, but he's not too smart. Whenever he has a good hand, he starts wagging his tail."

Inheritance Joke


what do you think?
When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men.