I'll Always Be That Drunkard Joke
The shop assistant looked at him suspiciously and said " There's no way I'm selling you a bottle of methylated spirit-you'll drink it."
"No I won't," the old man protested. "I'm starting my own painting and decorating business."
"I don't believe you," said the assistant, "because I know who you are; you're the old drunk who sits on the bench in the park."
" I used to be," admitted the old man, "but I've turned my life around. The trouble is people like you won't let me forget. I'll always be that drunkard no matter how hard I work, and that's what hurts so much."
The assistant was overcome with guilt. "okay," he said, "I'm sorry. Here's your bottle of meths."
"You haven't got a cold one, have you?" the old man asked.