An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, an Hungarian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and an African, walk into a bar.
"I'm sorry," says the bartender, after scrutinizing the group. ....."You can't come in here without a Thai."
Close your eyes and try to imagine what an alcoholic looks
like. Do you see a skid row bum wearing a raggedy old trench coat? Maybe he has
a scraggily beard, sitting on the sidewalk with a bottle in a brown paper bag? That’s what many people envision. The truth is an alcoholic could look like
your doctor, attorney, teacher, a celebrity, or your next door neighbor. Alcoholism does not care who you are and cares
less about your industry or profession. It doesn’t care if you are a mom, a
dad, a teenager, or someone’s grandpa or grandma.
Alcoholism is a disease recognized by the American Medical
Association since 1957. It’s the only known disease to man that will tell you
you’re all right when you are not. It’s progressive and patient. Alcoholism is a chronic, many times relapsing
disease of the brain that causes a compulsive obsession to drink alcohol, in
spite of the harmful consequences.
Lots of people don’t understand alcoholism. They believe the alcoholic lacks the
willpower to stop drinking. The truth is
it has nothing to do with willpower. For those people that believe an illness
can be cured with willpower I suggest they use willpower to cure their next
dose of diarrhea.
Alcoholism is a disease of the body and the mind. It can be
caused by genetics and/or environment. Some agree that “Genetics load the gun and environment
pulls the trigger” while others will say "Genetics loads the gun AND pulls
the trigger; environment only determines when the trigger is pulled and how
many "shots" are released at any one period of time." How much
does your environment affect the outcome of your disease? It’s unclear. My family has a history of alcoholism and my
parents divorced when I was 11 years old. Both of my parents owned bars in
separate neighborhoods on the south side of Chicago so I grew up in bars as a
teenager. I have no doubt that if my parents didn’t own bars I still would have
become alcoholic, only it would possibly have happened at a later age.
No one knows when they cross the imaginary line into
alcoholism but once you cross it you can never drink like a regular person
again. Usually you’re the last one to know you have the disease. Your family,
friends, and employer know you have a drinking problem but the alcoholic is in
I had emotional problems long before I ever picked up a
drink. Alcohol wasn’t my problem; it was
my solution. From a very early age I
felt like I didn’t fit in. I was a shy kid who never knew the right thing to
say. At 13, when I had my first drink I thought I had found the magic cure to
my personality disorder. That cure worked
for a lot of years but by my early twenties I found myself drinking in the
morning before work, during lunch, and going to the bar directly after work. At
24 I was hospitalized for stomach ulcers and at 25 I entered my first rehab for
It took me a long time, and multiple rehabs, to discover
there was a real solution. The solution was ‘Change’. I had to change
everything. I had to admit my faults, work on correcting them, and get honest
with myself. I had to let go of resentments and realize I was powerless over
people, places, and things. The bottom
line is I had to learn to accept life on life’s terms and come to the
realization that no one was doing anything to me; they were just doing it.
It doesn’t matter if you get sober using the 12-Steps, your
church, addiction therapy, alcoholism rehabs, anti-depressant/anxiety medications, or all of the above as long as
you understand you can’t do it by yourself. Most of us had problems from an
early age and we just never fully developed. Once we start to zone in on ‘why we are what
we are’ only then do we begin to get better.
This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Facebook. You are providing your information to Diligent Management & Consulting Services and not to Facebook. Diligent Management reserves the right to use any jokes entered in posts, publications, or any other form of electronic or printed media it sees fit and owns all rights to entered content for these purposes. The information you provide will only be used for email updates regarding the disease of drug addiction and nothing will be mailed to the snail mail address you provide UNLESS you are chosen as a winner. If you are chosen as a winner your prize will be mailed to the address we have on file.
Contest begins on May 12, 2012
Contest ends on May 20, 2012 (midnight)
Jokes MUST be related to addiction or alcoholism
There is only ONE Winner
Vote as often as allowed
Winner is chosen by votes cast by Fans and NOT by Diligent Management and Consulting Services.
Contestants earn ten extra points for each friend they refer to LIKE this page
Winner will be announced on May 21, 2012 by DMCS
The winner of a tie will be chosen by DMCS
No purchase is required to enter
DMCS reserves the right to change these rules at any time to resolve any disputes or cancel contest and start a new contest if unforeseeable circumstances arise due to the fact that this is its first Facebook contest creation and errors are unlikely but could occur.
Winner will receive a copy of Tom Cahillane's new book published by DMCS, 'Trust Me I'm an Alcoholic'