How Long For A Haircut?

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop full of customer and said, "About 2 hours."

The guy left.

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."

The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."

The guy left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back." He must be going some place where he gets seen right away.

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, "So, where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"

Forwarded by Margaret M.

Sunday School

A man is on a date with a very Christian Sunday school teacher. He asks the teacher if she would like to go to the bar for a drink. The teacher replies, "Oh no, what would I tell my Sunday school class." A minute later the man lights a cigarette, and asks the teacher if she would like one. Again the teacher replies, "Oh no, what would I tell my Sunday school class." As the man is driving the teacher home, they pass a hotel. The man thinks to himself what the hell, he asks the teacher if she would like to stop. To his surprise she says yes. shocked, he asks her, what would you tell your Sunday school class? She replies, "You don't have to drink and smoke to have a Good time."

Forwarded to me by Anne H.

Pony Joke

A pony walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, may I have a drink?” The bartender says, “What was that, I couldn’t hear you.” So the pony says, “I’m sorry, I’m just a little hoarse.”

New Years At Midnight

On New Year's Eve, Mary stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.