Drunk Banned From Iraqi Wal-Mart

A drunk middle-aged Iraqi man has been arrested at the Iraq Wal-Mart Store located in Bagdad. Authorities claim the man is currently banned from Wal-Mart until after his execution next week.
In addition to the charge of being intoxicated, apparently Wal-Mart camera surveillance has video of the following allegations.

1) Took 28 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts.

2) Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

3) Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

4) While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.

5) Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!”


Wal-Mart made a press release later that day and stated the man was probably just having some fun and agreed to lift the ban after the man has been executed.
(fictional)

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