A drunk guy gets up from the bar and walks to the bathroom. A few minutes go by and a loud, scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes later, another loud scream echo's through the bar.
The bartender walks into the bathroom to check out what the drunk is screaming about. What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the other patrons!"
The drunk replies, "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and each time I try to flush, something squeezes the heck out of my balls."
The bartender opens the door and looks in. You fool! You're sitting on the mop bucket!