Don't Touch Me

The bartender was cleaning the countertop when an old Irishman came in. The Irishman had a bad leg and he limped in, sat down, and asked for a glass of whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus sitting down there?"

The bartender responded yes, and the Irishman told him to give Jesus a glass of whiskey as well.

The next customer was a sickly Italian with a bad back. He slowly walked up to the barstool and asked for a glass of white wine. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of white wine, also.

The third customer, a redneck, walked in and yelled. "Bartender, set me up a cold beer. Then he asked if in fact that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar? The bartender nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold beer too.

As Jesus got up to leave the bar, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him on the leg and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman, his leg healed, got up and danced a jig to the door.

Jesus touched the Italian on the back and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten up and he did a flip out the front door.

Jesus walked toward the redneck, and the redneck jumped back and said, "Don't touch me, I'm receiving disability!"

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